Family

So I'm down to my last 6 days here in South Africa. Half the time my mind has been spinning at how quickly time has gone by and the other half of the time my mind has been spinning at the knowledge of the beautiful friendships I have...old and new. I have old friends back home blessing me like crazy by making sure my house is clean and put together. I have new friends here who have treated me like family and encouraged me greatly through lots of struggles, and who have blessed me with their words regarding how God used me. It seems as if one of the big things God wanted to open my eyes to this year is the beauty of the body of Christ. When I first came to Indianapolis 8 years ago I was the type of person to sway towards fierce independence and even isolation. Nobody needed to help me with anything because if I let someone in on my deal they'll certainly mess it up. I'm so glad God hasn't let me get away with that way of living and thinking for too long. I definitely wouldn't have survived here in that mindset! Truth of the matter is the body of Christ is vital. We are in need of each other to laugh with, cry on, talk to (or verbally process if you're some of my friends;) ), build up, push forward, rebuke and discipline, break before, learn from and even depend on. I have been meeting a lot of people lately who have been expressing their deep love for the Church. In the recent past I've been a skeptic. After all, the Church is made up of a bunch of humans so how good can it really be? But I'm starting to fall in love as well. There's too much evidence of how my family in God has been necessary these past 5 months for me to deny that I need them.

Can I also share with you my heart in this? Though I'm not as skeptical now my heart does still hurt a bit. I mean, it's beautiful that people have been loving me so well but I'm also painfully aware that there are many in this world in desperate need of the same love and yet are still walking this life very much alone. I've blogged before about how there are enough financial resources for us all to take care of one another. God has been reinforcing to me lately that there are enough emotional resources for us to take care of one another as well. Can I ask you to just search your heart and your neighborhood for how you can be an emotional resource for someone? Maybe even be open to the possibility that God wants to move your neighborhood to another country to love on someone who otherwise would walk this life alone?

Just around the bend.

This weekend I visited with a couple who run an organization that LSA supports (Metro Ministries). I was actually spending time checking out the other organization they run called Project O. I'll get into more detail about the experience in another blog. There was something that struck me as we were riding in 4-wheelers to an out of the way part of the township. We were riding up a decently steep hill and I could see that at the top of the hill we would have to go around a bend in the road. Something told me that once we got around the bend there would be a breathtaking view on the other side. I wasn't disappointed. I was treated with a view of a beautiful valley, rolling hills and a dam. As I took it all in God spoke, as He often does to us when we're in the midst of His creation. I realized that this 45 second part of our drive and the view on the other side is quite representative of the past 5 months and the months to come. A lot of the time I've been here the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual demands have been similar to the work that goes into climbing up a hill...the process is sometimes slow, it gets tiring, seems never ending and at times you just want to stop altogether and be done with it. However, when you think about all the work you've done to get where you are, the thought of going back down doesn't seem acceptable either. So you keep plugging away and God is gracious to encourage you that there's something special at the end of the journey. As I'm winding down my stay (I'll be leaving South Africa exactly 1 week from today) I'm finding myself getting to the top of this hill. Thing is, the view isn't quite in site. I'm now approaching the bend. I'm not really sure what's around the bend but everything in me (meaning all the knowledge and evidence I have of a faithful God) tells me there's something beautiful coming. How ridiculous would it be to get to the top of the hill and stand at the beginning of the bend without at least peaking around the corner to see what surprises God has? I find this exciting (Ang, Katy, Melissa, Kelly, Amy and Elizabeth...you have full permission to remind me I wrote this when I start whining about how I don't know what I'm supposed to do next!). Dear reader, I don't know where you are on your journey. Maybe you're laboring up the hill...my encouragement is keep working and moving forward for God never fails to give us the strength and grace we need to get to the top. If you're just now approaching the bend...GO FOR IT! Tear around that corner with wreckless abandon to see what He has in store on the other side. And if you've already gone around the bend and are now taking in that breathtaking scene then take some time to just be in that sweet spot in His plan and be quick to glorify the One who always has beautiful things in store, just around the bend.

Grabbing on...

In my time here in South Africa God has given me some opportunities to build deep relationships with some beautiful women. He's also given me the opportunity to walk with them through some tough stuff (and using the word "tough" is a major understatement by the way). It's been frustrating at times. I'll think some major ground is being won and a breakthrough has occurred, and next thing I know it I'm seeing them take steps backwards. Sometimes the moving back is a direct result of their own choice to not do what it takes to get to a place of healing. I'll then wonder if any progress has been made, if maybe I've tricked myself into believing they ever moved forward. It can be quite frustrating and emotionally exhausting. Last night one of these ladies (who is going to make a major impact on the world around her once she is through her healing process) came to me to chat just a bit. She mentioned something that she's struggled with for years related to some scars from the past. We chatted a bit about how she can deal with that and how she can use the authority she has as a child of God to fight what the enemy is trying to do to her. Today I was thinking about that conversation again and I had a new glimmer of hope. Yes, the process most of these women are in toward healing is long, tedious and exhausting. Yes, it involves taking steps backward at times. At the same time, I felt God revealing to me that sometimes all any of us can do is grab on to even the smallest hope, the tiniest step forward, the most minute desire to be healed and over it. I began to see that even though these women have at times chosen to move backwards, there's still a part of them that's grabbing on to even the little bit of ground they've gained. So I've decided to grab on with them. I'm going to grab on to even the smallest signs that their desire is to be done with it and free to live the life that God really has for them. Because the reality is, someday they won't be merely grabbing on and holding on for dear life to what little they can. Someday they'll be taking great strides forward, conquering their fears and struggles, and leaving little bits of hope in their path for someone else to grab onto as they begin they're own healing process.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 AMEN!!

P.S.The photos of the women at the top are not meant to be connected with the women I referred to in this blog. I just wanted you to see more of the beautiful women God has placed in my life the past 4 months.

Shout Out

I just spent the evening with some amazing women. These women have overcome the toughest of life circumstances. They've endured things and situations that would make most people crumble in fear or lose hope. I can honestly say that they have a resilience that is inspiring. It springs from their faith that there is a God that loves them and has a plan for them. Even though they may have their moments of wondering how a loving God could've been present in the midst of some traumatic things, they choose to believe that He is the reason they have made it this far. They've seen evidence of His healing in their lives and that He has empowered them to use their trials to help those around them. Add to that they are all at least 3-5 years younger than me. I can't wait to see how much more amazing they are in another 3-5 years. They are truly going to be used to change the world around them.

Hope

I just returned from a long weekend in the beautiful Drakensberg Mountains. Words can't express the beauty of this place so I've included a couple pictures. That's really not what this blog is about. This entry is about an encounter I had with one of the guests where I stayed. I stayed at a small guesthouse called the Antbear. It takes on about 10-12 guests at a time. All the guests eat together with the owners for breakfast and supper. This allows for some great conversations among the guests. One evening I was discussing with a newly arrived guest why I was here in South Africa and what I was doing. She had been to Africa before and seemed to have an idea of some of the cultural norms. She was asking me questions about the amount of violence here as well as if I thought people who attended the life skills courses WCA does really left changed. She made some comments about how people will hear things similar to what is taught in the WCA life skills courses but end up going back to life as usual when it's all said and done. As I look back I'm mortified to find that I agreed with her. Later that evening as I got ready for bed God spoke. He reminded me that He didn't send His Son Jesus to this earth to preach a message of hopelessness. Likewise, He didn't send me to South Africa to preach a message of hopelessness. After all, I've encountered so many of the staff at WCA who started out on a dead-end journey but now live changed lives that are marked with freedom and opportunity. They have been touched by God and are changing the generational norms that their families have held for so long. I know that I was too easily swayed by this woman's negativity. Too many in the world today view problems with skepticism. There's enough of that going around that it's time for those of us who know that there is hope to start getting more vocal. Yes, we live in a world with tough issues and people who are struggling and hurting. However, there are many of us that have been blessed financially, emotionally and even spiritually. We can all be used in many different ways to be the hope that many need as they walk through their struggles and trials. If you're wanting to know how you can be a messenger of hope I encourage you to check out the website for Loving South Africa (http://www.lovingsa.org/). They partner with many organizations here in South Africa that are light in the darkness and hope to those living here. You can be part of that quite easily. I'd like to leave you with a verse that I hope will encourage you as it has me.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

The Choice

It's been a rough week or 2. I'm in the midst of some heavy hand to hand combat against some of my own personal demons. Things that have been a struggle for me since I was 16. So you can imagine that the battle isn't going to be an easy one. The problem is, these past 2 weeks I've been so consummed with the struggle that I've really let my emotions get the better of me. This has caused me to be not the most pleasant person to be around since when I'm really wrestling with something I withdraw, and if someone interrupts the reflection or withdrawing I don't always respond well. So as I talked with God this morning He pointed out how much I've missed out on with Him and where I'm serving because of this. The eye opener came as I was reading Psalm 54. Verse 7 says "For He has delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my enemies." God showed me that it was time that I start approaching this personal battle with the mindset that I will have triumph over this particular enemy. Joshua 24:15 also came to mind: "...choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...". God is laying before me a choice. I can either choose to serve my emotions, discouragement and the struggle; or I can choose to serve the God who triumphs over all things and brings victory in the face of what at times looks like defeat. I must choose to serve either what is or the One who will make it what it can be (if that makes sense). So I'm going into this day making a choice. I know tomorrow or even later today the choice may be a bit harder to make since my emotions have never been an easy thing for me to have victory over, but I will make that choice to trust the One who triumphs nonetheless.

Prayers of the Righteous

I apologize that I've been a bit absent lately on posting something that relates to what I've been doing here at WCA. A big reason is there has been some heavy stuff going on here and I didn't quite know how to summarize so as to protect the privacy of those involved and prevent it from being 3 pages long! I still haven't completely decided how to do that so I guess we'll see how this goes:)

So basically the last couple weeks of May were quite bumpy. It's probably safest just to say that there's been a lot of heavy spiritual warfare going on here. I'm choosing to leave out all specifics, except to say God was leading me to fight alongside someone here going through some tough things. In some ways the spiritual warfare has been heavier than what I've ever had to deal with in a situation regarding another person. As I walked through some rough days God reminded me of the story of when the Israelites fought the Amalekites (Exodous 17:8-15). He showed me that my friend was Joshua doing the hand-to-hand combat against their own personal enemy (or the enemy). He then showed me that He had placed me in the part of Moses. Israel's success against the Amalekites was tightly linked to Moses holding his hands up. If his hands stayed up they were winning, if they started to go down they were losing. As my friend at times was too weak to fight the battles on their own, God called me to hold my hands up to Him in prayer for them. When I prayed prayers of boldness and authority my friend had the strength and endurance to continue to persevere against the enemy. The thing is, I'm human. Just as Moses got tired and started lowering his arms, there were times when I'd been in the thick of the battle for so long that my spirit started to get a tired as well. My thoughts would get distracted or I would flat out want to turn off my brain and emotions. That's when God showed me that those of you praying on behalf of me, LSA, and WCA represent Aaron and Hur. Aaron and Hur were side-by-side with Moses holding up his arms for him as he got tired. You all were side-by-side with me in prayer as my spirit got tired. The family of God is so tightly and intimately intertwined with one another. My friend couldn't fight on her own and needed me. My spirit got tired (or I was just plain clueless of what to do next!) and I needed you and the prayers you prayed. The problem is most of us don't realize how integral we are in one another's battles. We think that because we're not the one directly involved in the situation or even because we're on the other side of the world from the situation that there's nothing we can do. May I encourage you to stop downplaying your role in the world? There are heavy battles going on in the world we live in. Men and women are experiencing trauma and struggles that I pray to God you will never have to endure. Your strength, refreshed spirit and spiritual resources are not for nothing. They have power and they provide you with a very necessary role of standing in the gap. Won't you be diligent to seeking out how you can be part of someone else's fight? It's time to start believing James 5:16 to the fullest..."The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."