Crunchy

When someone has asked me how things are going for me these days one of my favorite descriptors of this season is "crunchy". I can't remember where I picked up using this word (and when I look it up in the dictionary there's no definition that fits the way I use it) but whenever I'm going through a season, circumstance or even a moment that's kind of edgy and not so easy to swallow crunchy is how it feels to me. The past 2 weeks the sermons in church have touched on some of the crunchiness that's going on in my soul. 2 weeks ago one of my pastors was talking about why Christians have such a hard time calling God "Father" or "Abba" or even "Daddy". My pastor mentioned the common reason given is many of us struggle to see God in that way because it seems irreverent (that could be a whole other blog, by the way). While I agree that's a reason that is true for some I also feel like there's something deeper that referring to God so intimately strikes in us. My feeling is we're afraid to approach God so intimately because we're afraid of what that intimacy might do to us. If we really come to God and view Him and His love the same way we would view a father's or a daddy's, what might that make us feel compelled to do to in order to please Him? What might it make us let go of to maintain that intimacy? How might it refocus our attention in order to keep this connection with our Daddy? Basically, how might this kind of intimacy wreck our lives? You know what I'm talking about. You've been there too. You've heard the soft whisper, felt the gentle prodding in the midst of the noise and activity of live. You know good and well it comes from a Father who is just trying to draw you near. And what do we do? What's the alternative to this intimacy that turns life on it's head? Living life running after what our hearts desire without a second thought as to wether it's flesh or Spirit, placing things that could be good in that wretched place of idols that firmly block the path to our Satisfier. We're not really so much afraid to offend God with an informal salutation. We're afraid to offend our flesh with the implication that maybe we've given its voice, along with its motivation for living, a little too much value and attention. I'm learning that it really is such a very good thing to be giving up the things I've put a lot of emphasis on in the recent past to make room for deeper intimacy with God. This stripping away is by no means easy or comfortable but my Father is being ever so gentle with my heart in the process. He is indeed a good Daddy.