Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Not-so-perfect form

I love watching my 4 year old nephew run. Several months ago my sister told me that his preschool teacher said he was doing well in everything, but when it came to running he was always last. For some reason I couldn't imagine why this could be. Not long after I found this out, I was babysitting for my nephews and decided to pay attention to his running form. It all came together. His arms where hiked up and pumping hard as if to will himself to go faster, feet were flailing out and knees turned in. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Every time I picture this precious boy running I have to smile. This past weekend I was doing my own treadmill run and for some reason my nephew and his running came to mind. I began thinking of my own running form which has earned more than one person commenting that I make running look effortless. As I thought about this God popped in with some thoughts of His own (since He seems to like to use running to teach me things). I've been reading a book on perfectionism for one of my classes and have been thinking a lot about my own battle of performance perfectionism. I prefer my movement through life to look like I do when I'm running...effortless. In addition, I like to perform consistently well. In some areas of my life I do seem to be able to maintain good form...like with the disciplines of prayer and Bible study. Unfortunately there are other areas where my form seems to look a bit more like my nephew's...like with having a critical spirit. In this area my attempts to keep from having a critical spirit are as clumsy and cumbersome as when my nephew tries to run fast. I'm pumping my arms hard, legs flying, knees knocking and a good deal of the time I'm tripping over myself as I try to improve. God showed me that even in the things in life where my form is quite clumsy, He still looks on me and smiles at my effort just as I do with my nephew. My desire to improve and do well is sweet to Him. He doesn't hide His face in shame that I'm not measuring up in this area (or any area for that matter) to those around me but rather is so very pleased that I'm trying.