Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Choice
It's been a rough week or 2. I'm in the midst of some heavy hand to hand combat against some of my own personal demons. Things that have been a struggle for me since I was 16. So you can imagine that the battle isn't going to be an easy one. The problem is, these past 2 weeks I've been so consummed with the struggle that I've really let my emotions get the better of me. This has caused me to be not the most pleasant person to be around since when I'm really wrestling with something I withdraw, and if someone interrupts the reflection or withdrawing I don't always respond well. So as I talked with God this morning He pointed out how much I've missed out on with Him and where I'm serving because of this. The eye opener came as I was reading Psalm 54. Verse 7 says "For He has delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my enemies." God showed me that it was time that I start approaching this personal battle with the mindset that I will have triumph over this particular enemy. Joshua 24:15 also came to mind: "...choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...". God is laying before me a choice. I can either choose to serve my emotions, discouragement and the struggle; or I can choose to serve the God who triumphs over all things and brings victory in the face of what at times looks like defeat. I must choose to serve either what is or the One who will make it what it can be (if that makes sense). So I'm going into this day making a choice. I know tomorrow or even later today the choice may be a bit harder to make since my emotions have never been an easy thing for me to have victory over, but I will make that choice to trust the One who triumphs nonetheless.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Amber,
The struggles of our past always seem to pop up when we’re making headway in others’ struggles. They are the “field tested” methods that the enemy knows have worked to get you down, or distracted or discouraged. With the intention to reconnect to our life source, we can retreat into ourselves and that’s when the old “tapes” begin to play. We discovered that we have a similar tendency to retreat with good intentions that often don’t pan out while we were on the trip. I understand that part of your struggle. The thing that we both know is that you’re not the same person that those old “tapes” used to work on. (I know, poor grammar.) You are there at this moment in time for a specific purpose and I know you’re sensitive to that. You have already made the choice; I just pray that you will be given the strength, confidence and peace to live in it. Out of all of the people that have gone on the trips, God chose you to go back first. Not because you were the strongest or the one who could make things right, but because you are the one that is willing to allow yourself to be used and not to your own glory. One thing I often say is that we can fill in the gaps for one another. Today I have enough faith in you for the both of us.
Post a Comment